When people expect something from you, as example…. they
expect you will always a good marks in exam, they will always mention this to
you, “You don’t need to worry so much, of course you are going to get good
result!”. We can consider it as a hope. When people have a hope on you, it
means they really want to see you become what they hope you become. You
understand what I mean?
It is a burden for me when people expect something from me.
When they have hope for me. They hope that we to do something or be someone.
But what if we couldn’t or we don’t want?
When we always been a good person, people will expect that
you will never get very angry or mad when they do something that you don’t
like. It is a bad thing actually. They will do it then smile just like it is a
joke for them. There are certain things we cant expect from good person.
I hate to say that I like it when people say that I am a
smart and clever person. But if we look deeper, what they said came with hope
and expectation. Sometimes when they saw you did something with good result.
They think that you like to do it so much. Sorry to say, study is not really my
favorite activity.Then they will expect
that we can help them in that thing they thought you like to do.
Once we help people, they will think we will help them for
next time they need it. They expect us to always be there to help them. The
next time they will come whenever they want with innocent face and asking..
”Can I ask something? I don’t understand this.” . How come I could say NO? When peoplecome to you asking for help, then you say NO, the next time they will
say you are being too proud with yourself, arrogant. Fuck off!!! What if I am
proud? I am who I am, it have nothing to
do with other people.
Being a good person and great person have the advantages and
disadvantages. When hope and expectation exist, it will give me a big heavy
burden other than make me happy. ….
Remember that nite? It was raining, it was so cold.
Under my black umbrella, I walked on the dark road.
My coat got wet as I watched cats in their fight.
But there you are, standing under the red light.
You were leaning against the wall, smoking.
I saw you smiling but the truth is you were crying.
You saw me walking up to you, you covered up your pain.
Tried to hide the tears, you went standing under the rain.
Under the umbrella we walked through the street.
You smiled at me, like everything was sweet
But from your calls, I knew you were hurt.
In those red eyes of yours, I saw the word.
You drank the hot chocolate, under the blanket.
You looked outside the window, the heavier the rain get.
On my white couch, you hugged yourself harder
And then, the tears that were hiding before, there they are.
